No, I will not cheer up

This will probably have less to do with being at the Wrong End of the Country than the previous, but screw it, it’s my blog and if I feel like going off on an unexplained tangent then that’s my prerogative. And yes, I linked to my own ‘about’ page there, sue me.

I was in a crushingly crap mood last night, largely because I found out one of my rats, Cambria, had to be put down. Shittest part was that I’m 300 miles away and couldn’t do anything about it or even be able to properly say goodbye. I’d left the two I had (Cambria and Pandora) with my mate Katy and her two because I couldn’t bring them down here with me, but when I left it hadn’t crossed my mind I wouldn’t actually be able to see them ever again, she was only about 18 months old. ‘FUCK’ is about all I can eloquently put together about it so far.

It’s also reminded me that I’ve still got the ashes of my first three, Trinity, Elohim and Missy, up in Preston. Yes, I got them cremated, they were my first three pets that were distinctly mine and they were brilliant girls. I really need to either get up there and collect stuff or figure out a way to get things sent down, but with money as tight as it is it’s bloody tricky, and conversely once I (eventually, hopefully, please sometime fucking soon because the cliffs of Dover look tempting) get a job I won’t have the spare time to actually make the trip! Catch 22 anyone?

What else, preferably cheerier? Oh yeah, I officially don’t miss tv, although I do miss my beautiful 32 inch tv. Saying that I have iPlayered Top Gear and How TV Ruined Your Life to fill the BBC void now Only Connect has finished. I’ve been trying the Guardian cryptic crossword to try to get a similar level of mental stimulation, but I just end up feeling incredibly stupid and skulking off, humiliated, to apply myself to the Sudokus instead. And as if to make myself feel even more intellectually inadequate, I’ve hit total mental block on my burgeoning novel

I can feel my brain withering


One response to “No, I will not cheer up

  1. That really sucks đŸ˜¦ *hugs*

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